One week ago today... Jessi's thoughts

Dear Alice,


I was lucky enough to be part of your birth day, and it was an incredible and awesome experience. In fact, I was brought to tears as the doctor caught you, and then I got to take your very first pictures! Let me tell you, the camera loves you and your thick black hair, chubby cheeks, and blue eyes.


Alice, my dear, you were a little late coming to the party, so the doctor gave your mom some medicine to start things happening. Your mom and you responded like champs, and only ended up needing one dose, instead of three, and no additional medicine.


There were a couple of moments there when your heart rate would go too fast or too slow, but you were quick to regulate and I never doubted you would get here safely. I was impressed how quickly you arrived once things were going, especially for it being your mom's first pregnancy.


I was also so impressed with your mom. She was a champion. It was so amazing to watch her respond to the pain in a completely calm and natural way. I never doubted that she was going to be able to deliver you, but seeing her do it, was one of the most memorable things I have ever seen.


You weighed 7 lbs and 2 oz, and were 21 and half inches long. I think everyone noticed how long you were and how much hair you had first. You had a big healthy cry, and an awesome suck. In fact, I think that is your number one favorite activity right now- nursing. You were a natural from the start. It was so cool to see you want your mama and latch on right away.


It was also really sweet to see your mom, dad, and grandparents get to hold you. Everyone is totally head over heals in love with you. Your uncle Dalan even held you on your first day, and the only other newborn he has ever wanted to hold is Quinn. That is a pretty big honor.


Quinn is totally in love with you too! She wants to give you pats every second that she is around you. She tells us "shhh" when we ask about you to remind us that you were sleeping. She gave you a big bear hug around the neck that made me a little nervous, and yelled at your mom in baby speak to take care of you when you were crying. When we told her you were hungry, she said, "yogurt, yogurt.". I hope the two of you will be the best of friends.


I love you so much little Alice Olivia, and I was so honored to be part of your big day! You and your mom were awesome, and I know I will never forget your birth day!


Love,


Auntie Jessi

It was rough, but i would do it all again.

Wednesday March 21

This morning VaRonica got up and went to work, yup she is still going to work, and I had some last minute things I had to wrap up. But mainly I wanted to have a relaxing day before the madness to come.

I started my day off with some light video gaming. Then I took Sir on an hour-long walk, it was a very nice day. I wanted to tire him out because he was spending the night by himself. I then procrastinated for another short time with video games. P.S. I had some really great games.

It was soon time to start getting everything done. I started slowly, which now looking back I should have done the errands and chores before playing games. After slowly doing this and that, I realized that I needed to pick up my feet. An hour latter I realized that I needed to really move in order to meet with VaRonica on time. For the most part I got everything done that I needed to.

I then drove to VaRonica’s parents and met her there. From there I took VaRonica out on a date to the Olive Garden. This was where I took VaRonica on our first date. Thought it would be appropriate for two reasons. This will be our last time going out before Alice is born. Also I thought VaRonica needed to carbo load. Did I mention that in my haste I forgot to bring my wallet?

We checked into the hospital about 8:30 or 8:45 ish pm. VaRonica’s mother and sister in-law Jessi joined us to complete our birthing team. They started by placing a Hep-Lock into the back of her hand, which meant I took a walk down the hallway so I wouldn’t pass out. Shortly after that she received her first dose of her “ripening” medication. The nurses and doctors mentioned several times that it would take four doses and then she would begin the Pitocin.

After a half hour from the first dose, VaRonica began having contractions. Another half an hour she was in full labor. Starting off mild, they grew stronger as the night went on. It wasn’t long until VaRonica was having contractions one after another, with little or no rest time between.

Thursday March 22

Because of the frequency of the contractions VaRonica was given a medication that would counteract the “ripening” medication.

At about 5 am I needed a rest, and passed the torch of support over to Jessi, my sister in law. She looked after VaRonica and I layed down on the couch to rest for a little bit. I love the wormed blankets they have here. But instead of grabbing a blanket, I accidentally grabbed a few receiving blankets (which are small). It is possible that I got about a half an hour of sleep.

By 6 am VaRonica’s contractions had become so painful that she asked for an epidural. It took about a half hour to get someone in to place the epidural. Once again at that time I stepped outside. Maybe it was my fried nerves, or because I was so tired, but I do know that watching VaRonica in that much pain was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. Once I stepped outside and away from everyone I started to cry, just for a moment.

Once the epidural started to work, we were hoping for a moment of respite. VaRonica was now dilated to about 9 cm, and we all started speculating what time Alice would be born. Jessi guessed she would be born around 11:30, she was the closest. VaRonica only got a short rest before she rang for the nurse and told her that she felt like she needed to start pushing.

With the nurses instructions we began to help VaRonica push. But after only a few times, she explained that Alice’s heart rate was slowing every time and it concerned her. She stepped out to call VaRonica’s doctor. Doctor Thackery joined us and we began to help VaRonica with pushing again.

As previously mentioned, I get a little squeamish with blood and needles, and I have also been known to faint. Twice I almost passed out, and two other times I was nauseous. Alice had stopped making any progress, so the doctor used a vacuum to assist. I glanced down and the doctor was holding the compression switch and his gloves were covered in blood. This was the first time I felt nauseous. When Alice came out I had to look. And as I did I had to sit down, this was the first time I almost passed out, (I think I was mainly relieved and happy) I also teared up a little. Moments latter the doctor threw something into a plastic container. Because of the movement I glanced at what he was doing, it happened to be the placenta. This was the second time I felt nauseous. And almost immediately after that I accidentally noticed that the doctor was suturing VaRonica. I saw the curved needle, and his hands covered in blood, the second time I almost passed out.

Jessi began her second task, official photo taker. Alice was handed to VaRonica and after a short time to me. The first thing that I noticed was her eyelashes, the second thing would probably be her blue eyes. Then Alice began to make the rounds to everyone who wanted to hold her. It was at this time that my parents made it to the hospital. We were moved to our new room, and the nurses began to check both VaRonica and Alice, both are healthy and doing well.

When everything slowed down, VaRonica told me to go home and take a nap. I didn’t want to leave them, but I was a zombie. My parents took me to Paradise Bakery for lunch, then we went to my home and I went to bed.

My mother woke me up at about 9 pm, and asked if I was planning on heading back to the hospital. I was shocked and felt a little guilty that I slept so long (maybe four or five hours, I don’t remember now). While I was sleeping my parents took Sir on an hour and half walk, he loves my parents.

I got back to the hospital and cuddled with VaRonica and Alice for a while. Then I insisted that I take care of Alice while VaRonica got some rest. She slept for about two hours, the longest she slept in two days.

Alice and her Birth *from mom's perspective*

Please know that I am fully aware that this is a super long blog. It is a selfish thing and might be boring to some. I want to save the memories that I have of this wonderful moment in my life and to share it with Alice some day. I am also a little narcissistic and believe that some people might want to read it as well. So take it or leave it, it is what it is! Know that Nathan is posing his version of the birth story as well. I am hoping that Jessi and my mom will write their versions as well so that we can put them all together, compare notes and let Alice read them when and if she ever wants to.

Alice’s Due date, (March 14, 2012) came and went and she stayed snug inside. I anxiously awaited her arrival and tried every home induction method we could think of or find on the internet (well almost everyone we found some I absolutely refused to do). I went to my doctor on Monday March 19^th and they checked the fluid around Alice and made sure there were no complications with me before scheduling me an induction date at the hospital.

*Induction is used after 41 weeks typically now days because the risks of the placenta breaking down, the baby defecating in utero and other such things are more likely which isn’t good for baby.

I continued to wait and try to get Alice to come on her own until Wednesday. Because she was so comfy she stayed inside. So Wednesday morning I got up and went to work. After Nathan and I went on a date, last one without having to find child care. We got a call from the hospital saying come on in at 9:00 to check-in, so that is what we did.

My birth coaches, they are the best!!!

Jessi, my mom LaDene and Nathan

Nathan, my mom and Dad, me and Alice went into the labor and delivery portion of Intermountain Medical Center. I got into a room quickly and was instructed to take it all off and put on a gown. I had what they told me would be my “first round” of medication to “ripen” my cervix. Typically the medicine is given in doses every 3 hours up to 4 times then Pitocin is started to help women dilate and contract. Well the medication was given to me at about 10:30 that night and within 20-30 minutes I started having contractions strong and steady about 3 minutes apart. They checked me and I had gone from dilated less than a 1 to a 3 (that is pretty good in just an hour). The problem with this was that Alice’s little heart rate started dropping after each contraction. They told me this is because I have an old placenta, RUDE!!! So at this point they give me a medication to stop the initial med but still allow my body to continue with labor but more slowly. This med worked as well. I continued to have contractions however they were roughly 6 minutes apart and I was told that I needed to stay in bed with an internal monitor to check on Alice. At about 3:00 I was so sick of laying in the bed, I attempted to convince the nurse that it would be ok for me to get up and go to the bathroom, maybe walk around the room a bit. She agreed to the bathroom but not the walking around. So after I peed I was washing my hands and there was fluid running down my leg and making a small pool at my feet. I called the nurse and let her know my water broke. She didn’t believe me. She wanted to test me first, so they swabbed me and tested she returned stating, “ Well your water didn’t break. Sometimes it’s just hard to control your bladder when your contracting.” Boy did this make me mad! I DID NOT PEE MY PANTS. I believe that I said this 6 times to my mom, Jessi and Nathan within the next 45 minutes. I had to return to the bed.

Nathan "dancing" with me to help me through contractions. This was a great method while I could use it!

About an hour later 4 am I had to go to the bathroom again, this time I lost my mucus plug. When I told the nurse about this, she said, “We will have to check.” This time I was so bound and determined to prove her wrong Alice helped me. When the nurse checked me the minute she put her hand in there fluids drained everywhere! The nurse looked up at me and said, “Well I guess your water did break earlier. HAHAHA (I love being right!).

At this point they let me know that Alice had released her bowels in her sack and would need to come soon or a c-section would be necessary, I was only dilated to a 4+. She said I had until morning before they would have to call the doctor to schedule the surgery.

*I want to put in here that I had a birth plan that was clear, but not concrete. I am pretty flexible and really the only thing that mattered to me is that Alice would get here as safe as possible. In my ideal world, that would have been without medications at all. My plan was to try to make it on my own without any pain medication, I asked that others don’t offer them to me, but if I ask feel free to administer them. Again I wasn’t trying to be a hero by any means but women have been doing this for thousands of years without I wanted to see how I could do.

I was hoping to not have to go the surgical route however if that was what was needed for Alice to get here safe, that is what we would do. Again her heart rate dropped after each contraction so I was back in bed for good this time. I repositioned the bed however so I was sitting straight up and had by legs down like I was in a chair (the labor and delivery beds are pretty amazing, just saying). I sat there for 2 hours. At this point Jessi and Nathan decided they better get some rest in so that when the true action went down they would be prepared for anything.

This is the bed in chair mode, like I said amazing beds!

My mom was there with me talking and supporting me. I started talking to Alice and letting her know that whatever happens, happens but I wanted her to get here soon and safe. I started having stronger and stronger contractions. They started coming faster and faster. By 6:30 I felt like I was screaming, and scaring the other patients. Nathan and Jessi couldn’t sleep through my moaning and I felt like it would never end. I had been having consistent contractions with at the most 30 seconds between them for roughly an hour. At 6:45 when the nurse came in and said, “I am sure you are dilating, probably at a 5 or 6 by now.” I was devastated. I asked for the epidural, the pain was just too much without a break in between. I felt a little like a failure at this point, but figured that if I have to get the c-section I would have to have the epidural any way and I could use the break.

At 7:15 I got the epidural after 20 minutes I got some relief and could sit still and not want to die. They could finally check my dilation because I wasn’t squirming around so much from the pain. Guess what Alice and I had done in the last 3 hours, dilated from a 4+ to a 9. That is right, we were kicking butt and she was going to come the way I had hoped, without surgery! I also felt like a little less of a failure because I was close to the end and made it pretty dang far without any pain meds.

One last smooch before the baby gets here!

My OB came in and checked on me. He told me that he was going to run and perform a c-section on another patient then be back. It was an hour later I was ready to push. Now I was still able to move my legs fairly well and couldn’t feel anything but a lot of pressure, but I knew that it was time. I called the nurse, she checked and yep I was at a 10 and ready to start pushing. They told my doc and he said get her started I will be there in a minute. So that is what I did.

Nathan, who doesn’t like hospitals, needles, blood, guts or pain, had decided that he would stay by my head. My mom was on my left side and took a leg. Jessi was on my right and took that leg. Together we all did our parts. Nathan counted the pushing for me while supporting my head and upper back. My mom and Jessi both held an ankle and supported my knees. I would grab my thighs pull towards myself and push at the same time. We did a few of these and the doctor came in. He geared up and we went full force.

Staying strong through bad contractions, Nathan rocked this labor!

Alice was still not liking all the stress from the labor and her heart rate was low. We all knew we needed to hurry. Also we found out that she had turned at the end and was posterior. This is when the baby is facing the wrong way coming out and causes the baby to slip back up inside the birth canal after each push, it also causes more problems for the baby and the stress they are under. The doctor tried to turn her as I pushed, this happened twice before she decided to stay put. At this point because of her low heart rate, having to turn her and slipping back in so many times my doctor looked at me and said, “We have a few options. She needs to come out quickly so I can use a vacuum, do an episiotomy and see what you can do. Or we can keep trying this. We can do either, but if she doesn’t come soon we will have to take her one way or another.” At this point I was thinking you are crazy to think that I have come this far to just get a c-section! I gave consent to use the vacuum and cut if needed. The NICU nurse and Respiratory therapist was there to help Alice as she arrived because of her bowel movement situation, the doctor was confidant in me and what we were doing so I was ready to rock and roll! It took two more pushes and here was Alice!

My fabulous OB

11:05 am on 3-22-12, my wonderful little Alice came out and instantly began to cry. My mom was able to cut her umbilical cord and Jessi went with Alice and the NICU nurse and Respiratory therapist to make sure Alice was taken care of properly and doing well. Nathan and I just stared at her being worked on. We looked at each other. Nathan had tears in his eyes and all I could say was, we did it! I am not sure how long it actually took, but it felt like maybe 5 minutes later they brought us our healthy little girl. She was able to lay on me skin to skin and begin breast feeding. She latched on like a champ and began to go to town.

The first official picture of Alice Olivia.

I will write later about other hospital experiences and I am sure go back to other things that happened here and there, but in essence this is Alice’s birth story from my perspective. I feel so blessed, lucky, fortunate, honored and overwhelmed that I get this little girl. She is mine and Nathan’s and we are going to do our very best with her. I love her so much already and can’t imagine life without her!

Not our first picture together, but the first that doesn't show too much of me!

Alice when you read this know you were so worth the wait, the pain and the worry. Having you here is the best thing that has happened to me and I love you!

Mom

Due Date and Wrap Up

Today is Alice’s due date!!! Nathan and I are excited that we have survived this long and can live to tell the tail. I know that babies are not typically born on their actual due date, but I sure was hoping that she would be here. In looking back at things I want to share a little about the last portion of my pregnancy, again so that I wont forget but also for Alice to be able to one day read and laugh at.

Alice continues to enjoy food. Yes she still loves the fruit but has also acquired a taste for other things as well. She enjoys when I eat fish, this I am sure will make Nathan crazy later on in life if it continues. She enjoys potatoes and pancakes a lot as well. This is a great thing for me because I love these foods too. She defiantly gets upset and stops moving around if I don’t get enough water. I feel awful and I am guessing she does too when I don’t get enough so I down water like it is going out of style!

Alice continues to be a mover and shaker. She doesn’t party as long now a days (I am guessing because there isn’t too much room for her in there) but is still a little wiggle worm, and lets her presence be known. I have found that she really enjoys some of my clients voices and when I meet with said clients she always moves around (I have to add that these are not set times that I see the clients, the days and times vary, but each time I meet with them she sways to the sound of their voices). Alice continues to be a night owl as well. She defiantly enjoys the nightlife and starts to come alive around 8:30 every night.

Me and a lovely friend Becca who is also expecting!

As far as I go, I am swollen and sore. My hands, feet, ankles and knees are all so much bigger than they use to be and by the end of the day it becomes painful just to walk. Over the past week there is a nerve in my lower back that has gotten pinched by something, or someone and it has caused extreme and continuous discomfort, which has definitely not been fun. I got a sinus infection and had to have a ton of dental work done. One issue or the other on it’s own is not fun but both at the same time made for a not so fun week of mouth, jaw, head/ sinus pain. Thank heavens for antibiotics and a loving and helpful husband, which got me through! I started getting Braxton hicks contractions about 3 weeks back. I didn’t know what they were at first until one of the amazing girls at water aerobics suggested that they could be early contractions. I would be sitting or standing or doing whatever and my heart would start to flutter and I would get a catch in my breath (almost like I was having a mild panic attach) it would last for 15-30 seconds and that was it. As I talked to my doctor he said to feel my tummy when it happened and if I felt the whole thing contract then this was probably Braxton hicks. I was shocked! My tummy has most certainly gotten bigger and bigger with each passing week, I have gotten stretch marks (boo to that!) but I am getting over that disappointment. My belly Button has gotten to the point that it has not fully popped but sticks out a bit, which makes me laugh! I still dance around and I am bouncing on the exercise ball to relax and have a good time. I continued my water aerobics classes until last week when I would have to buy a new pass, I didn’t know if I would be able to attend one class or the 8 on the pass so I just decided that I wouldn’t get another.

Nathan has been the best and most supporting husband in the world. He has cooked many, many meals snacks and even deserts. Cleaned the house, the yard, the cars, the dog, done the laundry and many other things. He has painted the nursery and the hall and has decorated both. He has given many massages to help sooth my back, painted my toenails, brushed my hair and done countless other odd jobs that I have requested when I have been unable to. Nathan is very excited to meet Alice and can’t wait to be a dad. I know that he is nervous for the labor and delivery part, but he will be ok he has great back up (my mom and Jessi) if needed. I am so proud of him and can’t wait to see how overtaken he will be with Alice. I can already see her getting everything she wants from daddy!

Jessi and Ali braving the porch swing with Alice and Me. (brave women)

In essence this is a bittersweet day. I am so glad that Alice made it to 40 weeks and is inside safe and sound but I want her out so that we can play and get to know each other from the outside. I will miss her kicking and squirming around inside of me. I will be constantly worried about others caring for her and not having her with me all the time but I can’t wait to be able to hold her in my arms, squeeze her and kiss her and allow those I love be able to do the same. I am so lucky that this day has come and that soon Alice will be here for all of us to share our joy and love with.